We have discussed and evolved our ideas from our original treatment.
In all, shots will show the city streets (sped up) while credits appear. Next the film will cut to Tom sitting alone, looking sad to induce sympathy from the audience. The film cuts to various shots of the characters walking towards eachother. Tom mainly walking left to right and George walking from right to left. This hints to the viewer that they will meet as shots cut between them walking. They will then meet in the carpark where Tom tries to explain that he has not got what George is after and he is then beaten up. To create a cliff hanger, a man enters on a motorbike at the end of the film who then walks towards Tom (who is on the floor beaten up). The film fades to white and then to black showing the title 'Revenge'.
I have decided to change the soundtrack to a rock style band backing track instead of piano. This is because a sinnister atmosphere can still be produced and the instruments and sounds are more modern (linking to the mise-en-scene of the city) and this style of music will also be much easier for the audience to relate to. This is also more similar to what my target audience might listen to by choice.
Well done for updating treatment - though much of this is more about the choces of shot and sound, you have rationalised the shots used to develop character and also you have shown how you have developed the character.
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